01 October 2007

Sean Hannity - Black Mask Anarchist!

On the September 28th episode of the Sean Hannity Show, Mr. Hannity gave extensive shoutouts to Rugged Individualism and not relying on the Government constantly for handouts. He was speaking out in response to the Democrat's claims that the Government should fund programs to provide health care and pre-school to children free of charge, but then he just started riffing, man...

Rugged Individualism is the only way to go! The government is inherently evil and corrupt, and will take over like Big Brother if we just give it an inch! All the great heroes refused government handouts! X-PRIZE FOR LIFE!

And c'mon, he's got a point; what kind of society allows children to expect education or health care for free? I for one wish my parents and the social structure of this country hadn't filled my early years with HANDOUTS: when I have children of my own, they are certainly going to work for every meal, doctors' visit and book they get, from birth. Don't tell me that's not possible, I've watched nature documentaries. Okay, maybe a week of breastmilk, and then I'm cutting them off -- no child of mine will get a free ride on his or her mother's teat! They'll be outfitted with tiny bootstraps, but only so that they can pull themselves up using this other small concessional handout.

Now, a lot of this may sound harsh, but listen to Mr. Hannity's point: isn't this just a slippery slope to letting the government own everything? If the government subsidizes things, how can we possibly be proud of those things, or value them? This is a horrible government, everyone knows it, they ruin everything they touch! Hannity is always quick to jump on all of the lying bureaucratic fatcats who work for the Postal Service, the Department of the Treasury, the FCC, the United States Military, and all those other scumbags when they do our nation dirty. I haven't checked this personally, but I assume he's stopped using US currency, broadcasting his show on the radio, or accepting mail -- can you imagine the same assholes who ran those groups (and of course the Keystone Kops involved with protecting our nation domestically and abroad) running HEALTH CARE? Better stock up on Robotussin alongside you gold bullion and semi-automatic weapons -- another one bites the dust! I never really thought ill of any of those groups (especially our troops, who like Hammer, I unconditionally support) but after listening to Hannity constantly remind me of how shitty the government is at doing things, I'm a believer. I still support our troops, but only if they slough off the evil yoke of THE GOVERNMENT and start doing the damn thing on their own, Conan the Barbarian style. I bet those horsemen worked for a GOVERNMENT. Me, I have no tongue for government!

So, having been converted to Sean's belief that the government is good for nothing, I was shocked to hear Mr. Hannity praising massive government-funded undertakings like NASA's Apollo 11 or the royalty-funded trips to the New World. He has to be joking, right? It's a wonder we didn't blow up the moon with those government yukaluks involved! Clearly, there's only one solution to this: topple the United States government, and all other governments. That way, only INDIVIDUALISTS will survive, and people will be going to the moon, like, all the time!